Goodbye to the Old...

Life before Madeline…..seems like a distant memory! But an important memory, none the less, because it created me into the Momma that she will grow up to know. I feel like I am closing the book on a very important chapter in my life, a chapter that I worked so hard during and that lasted for so long. I suppose it is only natural to be a little sentimental about this. I poured so much of myself into my education and career, now it is all over (for the time being). There almost seems like a disconnect in my brain as I write that. I know it to be true; however the reality of it has not resonated.

Please, as you read this, don’t misunderstand me. I am beyond happy to begin this new season in my life…I can’t express what a blessing it is! However, it is only right for me to pay tribute to the time and events that have brought me to this point and to my life.

In high school, I always knew that I wanted to help others. Psychology and Counseling seemed like a natural path for me to take. By the time that I had graduated, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I set out to earn a Bachelors degree in Psychology and did so in December 2005. What a celebration this was for my family…the first to earn a college degree! I knew that my education endeavors did not stop there. In order to work in the counseling field, I would need a Masters degree. So I enrolled in the Masters program and found a job at a local bank. I saved every penny to pay for my tuition that first semester! I felt God leading my every step, re-affirming that this is where I needed to be. Jeff proposed during my first semester and became my biggest encourager and supporter over the next 5 years. How I love that man! After a year of working at the bank, a new job curiously fell into my lap. I suspect that this was God, working the steps out for me again. I started work at a mental health agency in a near by town. How great it was to finally be working in my field of study! I gained experience with various mental illnesses, crisis intervention, and most importantly…counseling. God used this place to not only grow my professional skills, but help me mature into a stronger woman. I will forever be thankful for the role that this job played in my story. There were many nights of staying up late writing papers, driving 2 and a half hours (one way) to class and not getting home until past midnight. I worked full time and carried a full load at school. I finished my Masters in August 2009. I don’t think I have ever been more proud of an accomplishment (remember..this is Pre-Madeline). I can still remember the day that Jeff drove me to take my licensure exam. I studied the whole way, full of dread. I was sure that I had failed, but to my surprise delight, I passed! I began working on my internship (3000 hours of supervised counseling), which meant more driving and more work…on top on my job. I finished my internship in May of 2011, and applied for full licensure. At the end of May, my licensure was granted. I was finally a Licensed Professional Counselor! Nine years of my life was devoted to this purpose! Jeff and I celebrated by going to New York!

Jeff and I after my Bachelors graduation.

After my Masters graduation.

Celebrating in New York!

I was 4 months pregnant here!

I remained at that job, until Madeline’s birth. That day, a veil was created. I was no longer a counselor. I became a Momma. A far greater job and truly my biggest accomplishment. Every day I pray for God to help me be the Momma that she needs and deserves. I thank Him for all that he has done to prepare me for this task. I know that He has been there every step of the way, directing my feet. I am humbled that He loves me and that He has blessed me so richly.   

What Every Mother needs...

The Halo Swaddle Sac

This sleep sac/swaddle blanket is featured on The Happiest Baby on the Block. My only regret is that it took me a month to find out about it! It was the only swaddle that our little Houdini couldn’t break out of. It allows for easy access to change diapers and is easy to use. We tried for weeks to get the whole swaddle thing down. We even went back to the hospital to have the nurses teach us again. Neither of us could replicate it once we got home. I started to have anxiety at night every time I needed to change her. Once we started using this sleep sac, it changed everything.

The Sleepy Wrap (now is is called Boba Wrap)

A family member gave this to us before Madeline was born. I will admit, I was a little intimidated by it at first! But, after getting on youtube and learning how to wrap it, it quickly became my bestfriend. Madeline fit perfectly and comfortably in it. It sits her close to my heart (which is calming), next to me (warm and snuggly), and bounces her perfectly (as if she were still in my belly). It earns its name too! She is usually asleep within 10-15 minutes of being in the carrier. I am able to use both of my hands to cook, clean, go grocery shopping, etc. I absolutely love it! I don’t leave home without it.

Medela Breast Pump

A good breast pump is essential for nursing Mommas! I was fortunate enough to receive this as a gift and have really appreciated it! It helped in the early days of breastfeeding to relieve engorgement. As Madeline grew, I was able to store milk so that I could go out with Jeff and we could spend time together. Anyone with a newborn knows that nights like those are rare!

Zip up Jammies with Feet

I didn’t know how important these would be to me! I used to shop for what was cute, now I look for practicality too! These are great at night-time. I am able to change her diaper quickly, rather than fooling with tons of snaps in a dim lit room. I like the ones with feet, so I don’t have to worry about keeping socks on her. This particular one is from Children's Place. They seem to fit really good on Madeline!

Bath Tub

Don’t underestimate a good tub! I loved the one that I received. It came complete with a newborn sling, which was wonderful when Madeline was super tiny!

Bouncy Seat

This is a safe place to sit Madeline while I am doing stuff around the house. I can carry her into the kitchen and she can watch me cook, or sit her next to us at the table, while we eat. She also sits in this while I am getting ready in the morning!

Swing

Madeline didn’t love her swing in the very beginning, but it has become a quick favorite as of late! When she is drowsy, I can put her in her swing and it lulls her to sleep. She stays asleep longer in here versus her bassinet.

Bassinet

Ours is actually a pack and play that can be a bassinet too. We were SO naïve when we came home from the hospital and thought that Madeline would just sleep in her crib (Some babies will….ours would not). We quickly realized that we needed a place for her to sleep in our room, so a pack and play was ordered within a few days of our homecoming.

Four Months Old

Four Months Old

Little one, I can’t believe you are already four months old! Our world has been forever changed by you in the biggest and most wonderful way. I want you to always feel completely encompassed by our love and joy.

You are cooing and smiling at us every day. Sometimes when I look at you, it brings tears to my eyes. I cannot describe the love in my heart for you.

You have started going to sleep at 8:00 PM, and staying asleep until your first feeding at 2:30 or 3:00 AM. This is great, because I was able to finally finish the baby blanket that I have been making for you since I was 5 months pregnant!

You are nursing every 3-4 hours during the day.

Your legs are getting chubby and SO ridiculously cute!

Your neck muscles are getting so much stronger and you can hold your head up really well!

You realize that you have legs and love to kick them as fast as you can! We lose lots of socks this way!

You really love “Freddy” the firefly and sometimes talk to him in the car. Your Daddy and I get really tickled when you do this!

You absolutely hate riding in the car. I am pretty sure that it is the end of the world for you...

You laughed...I mean really laughed... for this first time this month! I got so excited that it startled you and you stopped before I could capture it on the video camera.

You still don’t know that Ty or Macie exist, but they are pretty crazy about you!

I catch Macie trying to snuggle up on your blanket or Ty trying to sneak you kisses (which they are not allowed to do).

We are starting to work on you sleeping in your bassinet now. It is a hit or miss most nights.

I love being your Momma. It is the best and most important job that I have ever had, baby girl.

Four months old! Look at my baby chubs! :)

Yes, my cheeks are chubby and totally adorable!  

I love you in the good times and the bad....

In case you haven't already noticed...I have bear ears! Too much cuteness...

Macie stealing kisses....tisk tisk... 

So happy your Daddy captured this! 

Melt...  

Like peas and carrots, you and I.

Love your little dimples!!

BumGenuis…Because They Really Are!

Before I had Madeline, I was introduced to BumGenius diapers and fell in love with the concept! I wanted to try them for myself, but was pretty nervous, since pretty much everyone uses disposables. Most people never ask if you are going to go cloth, they just assume that you will use disposable. I loved the idea that:

1. We are putting natural fabrics on Madeline’s adorable tushie!
2. We are being green!
3. Who doesn’t want to save money?

So, with all of this in mind, I purchased what I needed to get started. That consisted of 18 cloth diapers, a dry diaper pail (we just used a tall trash can with swinging lid), liners (trash bags…we’re not fancy!), and safe detergent for the diapers (ALL works great).

When most people hear “cloth diapers” they have visions of cloth, held on with safety pins and plastic bloomers. Cloth diapers have come a LONG way since those days! These diapers are easy! They have absorbent liners inside and water proof outsides. They snap on and look similar to regular diapers. The best part? They adjust with your baby/toddler as they grow! I will be able to use these diapers until Madeline is ready to potty train! I wash about every 3^rd day. I pull the inside liners out and wash them all together on cold, then hot, extra rinse, then dry on low. I re-insert the liners and we are ready to go.

Did I mention they come in adorable colors and patterns?

There have been a few times that I have had to use disposables. Each time that I do, I am reminded why I love my cloth diapers so much! We have so many more accidents in the disposables. I know that the cloth diapers can handle whatever Madeline dishes out…I’ve seen it time after time.

Here are some pics of my beauty in her cloth diapers!

Getting ready for bath time! 

Such a happy girl! :)

Playing Catch Up: Three Months Old

Three Months Old

My sweet girl! You are smiling so much! We don’t have to work as hard to get a grin from you anymore. You love to be talked to and seem to be studying us so hard so that you can figure out this whole talking thing too. You really respond when we say “oooooo” and can mimic it back pretty well!

You absolutely love bath time. You don’t need your newborn sling anymore and can sit in the infant tub really well! You really love when I put lotion on your legs and arms/hands. You always smile really big when I am doing this!

I took your newborn head rest out of your car seat this month. I can’t believe you don’t need it anymore. You are growing so much!

You are getting much better at holding your head up for longer periods of time, but are still a little wobbly.

You love to be walked around so that you can see everything.

I just discovered that you don’t mind sleeping in your swing, so you have been taking naps in it sometimes so that Mama can get things done around the house.

You don’t mind letting me put you down as long as I am in eyesight!

At night time you become a Mama’s girl and don’t want others to comfort you. During the day you are very friendly and happy around others though!

You are just now starting to fit into 0-3 month and 3 month clothes. Some of them are still too big though.

You weighed 10 lbs 9 oz at your last well visit.

You are still nursing every 3 hours during the day. At night you will sleep for about 5 or 6 hours.

You have found your hands now and LOVE to stick them in your mouth.

3 Months Old! 

I love hands... 

BIG smiles!

Madeline saying "oooooo...." 

And this one because it was too precious to leave out!

Playing Catch Up: Two Months Old

Two Months Old

The days worrying about your jaundice are long gone, little one! We are trying to settle into more of a routine now. You change so much every week!

Your eyes lashes are getting longer now. I think that your eyes are going to be blue. They are so beautiful!

Sometimes you will smile at me, but I have to really work for it.

You are able to focus on people now and will look at us in the eye.

We are still nursing every 3 hours. You are sleeping longer at night. Sometimes 5 hours!

I have found that you sleep best next to me, so we have started co-sleeping. It has worked out really well and we both get more sleep now! I love having you next to me to snuggle with at night. I can easily meet your needs this way!

You have started to have problems with your tummy and get really upset at night time. Daddy and I take turns walking you around the living room and trying ease the gas in your tummy.

You love bath time now that your umbilical cord has fallen off and you can sit in your newborn tub! I really enjoy this time with you!

Your Two Month Picture!

We LOVE bath time!

Your beautiful blue eyes....

So sweet!

Playing Catch Up: One Month

One Month Old

Baby girl....I can’t tell you what a joy you are to your daddy and I! You gave us such a scare coming early, but you have been SO strong. You are a fighter for sure!

We have had to take you to the doctor almost every day for the first 2 weeks of your life. I had to supplement 2 bottles of formula a day to help your jaundice levels for a week. I cried when your daddy fed it to you! I love nursing you. It is such a sweet time in my day and I love that I am able to provide you nourishment.

You still sleep a whole lot right now. I sometimes have to wake you for your feedings! You are gaining weight really well and have re-gained everything you lost after birth, plus some! The doctor seems really happy with it.

You have really taken well to nursing. I love how you root around and make snorting noises when you are eating. I have never seen anything cuter in my life.

We are having a hard time getting you to sleep in your bassinet or crib. We sometimes sleep with you on our chest, on the couch. Daddy and I take turns, so that one of us can get some sleep right now. You are worth every sleepless night!

When I take you places, everyone comments on how beautiful you are. I know that it’s true and my heart swells with pride.

You are such a good baby! You never cry when we go to the doctor or other places. We are so unbelievably blessed to have you as our daughter!

A little late...but here is Madeline's Birth Story

Madeline Rose Goodman was born September 14, 2011, at 4:41 PM. She weighed 5 pounds, 9 ounces and measured 18 inches long. 

Jeff and I had just had our 35 week appointment with Dr. Wilkerson on Tuesday, September 13^th. We had our last sonogram and everything looked great. I was dilated to a 1 and was 50% effaced, but we were reassured that I would probably deliver very close to my due date, which was October 15^th, 2011. Still a month to go before meeting our baby girl…or so we thought!

The following morning I awoke at about 5:15 AM to go to the restroom (something pretty routine late in pregnancy) and found that I was bleeding pretty heavily. I called out to Jeff, who was sound asleep in the bed room, that it was time to go to the hospital. Jeff didn’t believe that I was in labor, and reassured me that it was probably just a severed blood vessel or something and that I could not be in labor yet. Getting ready, I had a feeling that we might not be returning without a baby in tow. I tried to get things that I knew I would need for my stay at the hospital. Both of us moving around the house, not saying much. Once we were on the road to Paris, I began to cry. I had so many fears. Why couldn’t I have carried her longer? What health issues would she face because of an early delivery? Will we have to deliver?

Checking in to the hospital went rather quickly. They set me up in my regular room to be checked out. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and I can remember savoring the sound of Madeline’s heartbeat. So strong. I wouldn’t let them turn it down. They completed their exam. I had not dilated any further, but my amnio swab came back positive, which meant that I was leaking fluid. Dr. Wilkerson came in and seemed genuinely concerned about the situation. My water sac was still in tact, but something wasn’t right. “We are going to have this baby today”. He didn’t want to take any chances for an infection, so he proposed that my labor be induced and told us that we would be delivering by this afternoon. We were in absolute shock. What happened to delivering close to due date? We have 4 and a half weeks to go!

Jeff left quickly to go back home to gather our belongings and to tend to Ty and Macie. While he was gone, they moved me to a labor and delivery room, where they proceeded to break my water for me. At this point, my mom was with me. She sat next to my bed and we both prayed for Madeline’s health. My phone rang- mid prayer- I hit ignore. Once we were finished, I checked my voicemail. It was Pastor Jack, offering a prayer over the phone for Madeline. I was so touched. We were so blessed to have so many people praying for the safe delivery and health of our baby girl. My water was clear- a great sign. So the wait began. My contractions started. I began to get nervous that Jeff wasn’t there. I kept thinking, “what if I dilate quickly and he misses it”. I didn’t want him to miss a single moment of this day. I had my mom call and ask him to come back as quickly as he possibly could. They came to check me, but my progression was slow. I had only dilated to a 2. They decided to begin the admission of pitocin in my IV. Contractions began to come more regularly and stronger. Karen and Dick arrived. We had waited to call them until we found out what Dr. Wilkerson was going to do. Jeff returned—Still worried. Michelle and Kirk also arrived. We had a full house! The nurse came in and enforced a new rule: only 2-3 people allowed at one time in the delivery room. It was lunch and everyone began to get hungry. I insisted they all go eat…I wasn’t going anywhere. J They took shifts going to lunch. I asked that they not tell me about where they were going since I had not eaten all day and wouldn’t be allowed to eat until after Madeline was born.

Lunch was over and so was resting. My contractions had really picked up at this point. They offered the epidural around 3:00 and I agreed. I was dilated to a 3. This was by far the most painful part of Madeline’s birth story! They excused everyone from the room and had me sit on the side of the bed, hugging a pillow. They instructed me to push my back out. I could feel the needle and requested more local anesthesia. After, what seemed like forever, the epidural was finally in place, however, I could still feel my contractions on one side. Jeff and my mom returned to the room to find me still working through my contractions. The anesthetist returned and adjusted my epidural. Thankfully, it worked! They checked me and I had progressed to an 8! Everyone came in and visited with one another. I slowly began to feel pressure in my pelvic area. When the nurse returned, I mentioned it to her. She had everyone leave the room and checked me one last time. I will never forget her saying, “it’s time to have a baby”! Jeff and I were both in shock that the time had come so quickly. The room quickly transformed and was prepped for delivery. I began pushing at around 4:00 PM. It was amazing. I know labor is supposed to be difficult, but I didn’t mind it at all. Dr. Wilkerson came in, as well as other hospital staff. At 4:41 PM, our beautiful baby girl was born. What a wonderful noise those cries were to our ears! I couldn’t wait for them to wrap her and place her in my arms. She was healthy! We spent the next 30 minutes alone with our Madeline in the delivery room. Our family was eventually invited back and took turns holding her. What a special and unforgettable day this was.

Madeline Rose, we love you so much. You have brought more joy to my world than I ever knew was possible. I knew from the moment that I met you that God meant for you to be my daughter. You are my greatest blessing and most amazing accomplishment.

First sight of little M!

Holding my precious baby for the first time.

Our first family picture!