It was a year ago today that my life changed in the most amazing way….I can remember how my heart skipped a beat when the doctor’s office called and how nervous I was to answer that phone call. Standing in the middle of a shopping center, I received the news that I had so longed to hear. We were pregnant! There is no way that I could ever convey to you the emotion that I experienced that day. To know that a precious baby was growing inside me at that VERY moment! How amazing.
I promised God that day that I would love this tiny little human with all that I had. I would take care of it, and never…I mean never take it for granted. Not everyone knows what it is like to ache for a child. To hope for something that you may never have. We are some of the few that find ourselves on the other side of that grief filled valley with a precious baby in our arms. As hard as those days were, I never want to forget them. They are a reminder of my God’s goodness and faithfulness to me. This is yet another chapter that God has used to mold me into the Mama that He intended for me to be. It has shown me what a miracle life is and that having a baby isn’t a given right….it is a blessing and should be treated as such.
When I look into my daughter’s eyes, I still can’t believe that this is real. I know, without a doubt, that Madeline was meant to be my little girl and that I was destined to be her Mama. This is something that God had already planned before my existence. It is so humbling when I think of how He has taken care of me, knowing what He had in store for me all along. Every day that I cried and pleaded, He was saying, "not yet". I just couldn't hear Him over my grief. I pray that I am able to continue down the path that He has laid out for me and to be a better listener for his direction. So many times I think I have things figured out, only to realize that I don’t. Today, I give thanks for my "plans" falling through and for God's plan prevailing. Thanks be to Him.
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