Claire Isabella

My sweet, precious girl,

This is the story of how you came into this world. My pregnancy with you was different than my first. I had morning sickness for the full first trimester and never really had much energy throughout the entire pregnancy. At 28 weeks, I experienced bleeding. I called my doctor and they instructed me to rest and to watch it. It seemed to persist, so we went to L&D to have things checked out. They released me that day and placed me on bed rest. My cervix was shorter than they were comfortable with and I was 1 cm dilated. We were absolutely terrified that you would come early. We knew what this would mean for your health and we wanted so badly for you to be okay. I remained on bedrest for 4 weeks, seeing my OB every week. After 4 weeks my doctor said nothing had progressed and lifted the bedrest. The very next morning, I started bleeding again. I made another trip to L&D, in which no cause for bleeding was found. They believed it to be a vein in my cervix and released me, back on bedrest. A week later I had a very heavy bleeding episode and went back to L&D. After being thoroughly examined, they released me again. My doctor predicted that you would arrive around week 35, but was concerned you may come before then. They decided to give me steroid shots to develop your lungs, just in case. Boy, did that hurt!! They continued to check my cervix weekly. "Any day now", was something that he said at every visit. So I waited....expecting you any moment for 12 weeks. Week 35 came and went, but you were still snug as a bug. It was hard, but we were blessed to have the help of your Nana and Mimi to watch your big sister. Your Daddy would always say, "We could just make it to 39 weeks!". Dr. Wilkerson and I would say, "yeah, maybe", but I never really thought we would! I was just praying to make it to week 37. Week 37 and came and went, still you didn't come. They took me off of bedrest and I resumed all of my normal activities. I was sure that you would come then, but you didn't. Dr. Wilkerson said I had progressed to 3 cm and was very close. At the end of week 38, I was beginning to become very uncomfortable. We started talking induction, can you believe it? I wasn't sure if I *wanted* to be induced. I just wanted to experience this as naturally as possible, but I was starting to be concerned with how much you were growing and my ability to deliver you. Your Daddy and I went home to talk about it and finally decided to induce the day before my due date, which was February 1st. I was hoping that you would decide to come on your own that week, so that an induction wouldn't be necessary. We went on family walks every day that the weather was nice. Madeline and I made trips to Nana and Pawpaw's farm and I cleaned the house every day. You didn't want to come! I had a few contractions here and there, but nothing consistent. The night before your induction, I couldn't sleep a wink. Madeline went to stay with Nana and Pawpaw and your Daddy and I were home by ourselves. I did all the last minute preparations that I could think of. Daddy laughed that I was painting my toenails at 10:00. We packed our bags and laid out our clothes.

Finally it was the day of your induction, January 31st, 2014, your birthday! We were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 5:00 am, which meant that we had to be up around 3:30 am! I was SO tired and excited. I had been planning to have a natural, unmediated birth and was beginning to get nervous. I can remember driving to the hospital and wondering how this was all going to play out. I knew we were about to be a part of a miracle. There isn't any think like *knowing* you are about to be a part of something so magical and sacred. I just wanted to drink in every moment of that day and to really experience it. The staff was so sweet and I was relieved to have such nice nurses to start the day off. We settled into our room and I got changed. They hooked up my IV and started me on a small amount of Pitocin. They said I was contracting on my own, but that they just hadn't fallen in to a strong, regular pattern yet. At 7:30 am, Dr. Wilkerson came into the room to break my water. This was painless and easy. I immediately started experiencing regular and stronger contractions after that! He chatted with us and said that he had a surgery scheduled for later in the morning, but would be around if I needed anything. They brought me ice chips and your Daddy and I began our wait. The contractions got stronger throughout the morning. At 9:30 am, your big sister arrived at the hospital to see us. I was so happy to see her, but was really having to work through the contractions at this point, so she didn't stay in the room long. I didn't want her to see me in pain. While your Daddy went to take Madeline back to the lobby, the nurse came in to check me. I had dilated to a 5! She gave me something through my IV to, "take the edge off of the contractions". Your Pawpaw, Nana and Mimi came in to see me next. It was close to 10:00 am, at this point. They wished us well and went back to the lobby to wait. Your Daddy promised to keep them updated. After he returned to the room, my contractions had really picked up. He offered to rub my back to help. I gladly accepted and rolled onto my left side. When I did, the pain intensified and I couldn't breath well. He placed a fan on my face, which helped, but then I began to feel nauseous. I remember thinking to myself, "if I give in and get an epidural, will I be disappointed in myself?". At that time, another contraction hit. It was so incredibly intense. I looked at him and simply said, "epidural", which was the word we agreed on would be my white flag, so to speak. He quickly said, "okay", and went to find my nurse. By this point, I was holding on tightly to the side of my bed. I explained to her that I had difficulty breathing during the contractions and that I felt nauseous. She said, "Let me check you again before I call the anestiologist...it might be too late". She asked me to turn back onto my back, which seemed impossible, but somehow I managed to get back there. I remember feeling like I would pass out from the pain. She quickly determined that I was complete and ran from the room to call Dr. Wilkerson and to bring in the equipment. Everything seemed frantic. Your Daddy was so excited and said, "You did it, Honey!!!" I wanted to push so bad, but they had told me to wait. Dr. Wilkerson was in his afore mentioned surgery, so it took a minute for him to get there. Once he arrived, I started pushing. I could feel my body working to deliver you, almost without any thought from me. It just knew what to do. I knew that there was no turning back now and that the only way to meet you was to trudge forward into this unknown territory of labor. After about 30 minutes of pushing, you were born! The nurses and doctor all commented on how full and healthy you were! I was shocked at your precious rolls when they placed you on my chest. You made it...and you were absolutely healthy! What an amazing blessing after all that we had been through and feared throughout the pregnancy. Praise be to God! You were having a hard time getting a good breath and had breathed in some fluid. The nurse took you to suction out your lungs and you began to cry that beautiful newborn cry....the cry that every parent longs to hear when they give birth. It was beautiful. They weighed you and your Daddy looked over at me in shock...you were 8 lbs and 9 oz, 21 inches! They brought you back to me for skin to skin time. You quietened as soon as they placed you on my chest. After you nursed and I ate lunch, we sent for the family. Your Daddy was so excited to tell them that you were here. They couldn't believe it and thought he was only there to update them on the progress of labor. You were born at 10:43 am. Your big sister made you a couple of drawings and was the first to hold you. I adored you right away, sweet girl.

I had some difficulty recovering afterwards, so they kept me in L&D a little longer. We were eventually moved to a room in the maternity wing where we waited for you to be cleaned and brought to us. I loved nursing you in the night that first night we had together. I always kept you longer than what it took to actually nurse you. I would just look into your face and study you. How I had longed to meet you and to see what you would look like! We couldn't tell who you took after. They released me at noon the following day. Such a precious experience that I will never forget. I love you sweet girl and can't wait to get to know you!